jkarma.com offers a fun and secure place to meet other Jewish professionals. It’s also a great place to build loving and trusting friendships that can lead to lasting relationships offline. Whether you’re corresponding online or meeting offline, it’s important to use sound judgment and common sense for your own safety.
1. Begin slowly
Be careful if you come across someone who seems too good to be true. They probably are. Start by communicating solely via jkarma.com Messenger or email while you look for odd behavior or inconsistencies. Keep in mind that the person at the other end may not be who or what he or she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
2. Guard your anonymity
All correspondence between jkarma.com members takes place using our double-blind system. Your true identity is protected until you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name, email address, home address, phone number, workplace or any other identifying information in your free profile or initial messages. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal information or tries to trick you into revealing it.
3. Use caution and common sense
Careful, thoughtful decisions generally yield better dating results. Don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse. And don’t become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. Members should earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person and pay careful attention along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably is, so act accordingly. If you mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be smart and protect yourself.
4. Ask for a photo
Photos let you get a "gut feeling" about the person with whom you’re communicating. In fact, you should request several images. If all you get are excuses – not a photo – assume that he or she has something to hide.
5. Talk on the phone
Phone calls reveal much about a person’s communication and social skills. As a rule, you should probably chat on the phone before you decide to meet someone in person. However, keep your security in mind when you arrange the call. Don’t reveal your personal phone number to a stranger – try a cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in Caller ID. Only give out your phone number when you feel completely comfortable.
6. Meet when you are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can collect information gradually, choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline world only when and if you’re ready. You are never obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.
7. Watch for warning signs
Displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you are completely inappropriate both on and off line. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are also warning signs. If your date exhibits any of the following behavior – (without giving you an acceptable explanation – you should be concerned:
- Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, etc.
- Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
- Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
- Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.
8. Meet in a safe place
When you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date’s name and telephone number with your friend. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, and meet in a public place at a time when there are many people around. When the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present, is often a fine choice. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.
9. Take extra care outside your area
When traveling to another city to meet someone, make your own travel arrangements. Keep this information confidential, especially the name of your hotel. Research the city before you leave – or better yet, get a recommendation from your hotel – so that you know you’re meeting your date in a safe place. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans, the name and contact information of the person you’re meeting, and your travel information. If possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
10. Get yourself out of a situation
It’s better to be safe than sorry. If you feel at all uncomfortable or uneasy about your date, the location, or the activities leave immediately. Use your best judgment to defuse the situation and remove yourself from the scene. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else for help or slip out the back door and drive away if necessary. If you feel you are in real danger, call the police. Never worry about being embarrassed by your behavior; your safety is much more important than one person’s opinion of you.
Unfortunately, you can bump in to liars, cheaters and posers almost anywhere. Whether you meet people on the web or in nightclubs, cocktail parties, or your local café, dating is never risk free. Common sense and caution will serve you well both on and off line.
